How long should an engagement last? That’s a good question! The answer of course is…it depends. Every couple is unique and different, and everyone has different goals for their wedding day, and indeed for their engagement. Some couples love the idea of a long, drawn out engagement. They like to bask in this special time and just enjoy “engaged life” together.
Still, for other couples, the idea of a long engagement, and two or three years of wedding planning, can be a source of great stress. Others couples simply prefer to spend less time being engaged and more time being married! Only you can answer the question; “how long is too long.?”
There are some advantages to the short engagement that are worth considering. The greatest advantage is, of course, financial. Wedding venues and vendors are subject to inflation, just like any other good or service. Venues and vendors, in the course of doing business, of necessity, will forecast into the future for inflation. That means that all things being equal, a 2025 wedding will be more expensive across the board than a 2024 wedding, and a 2026 wedding will be more expensive still. Alas inflation only ever moves in one direction! Additionally many venues may be willing to discount unsold wedding dates coming up in the near future.
Another advantage to a shorter engagement is the time savings couples can take advantage of. Some couples simply don’t want to spend years planning a wedding. Other couples may actually be under some pressure to get married sooner rather than later due to a family member’s failing health. Others are eager to get married before starting a new job, the birth of a child, or purchasing their first house. Whatever the reason, many, many couples are now opting for shorter engagements.
So how long does it actually take to plan a wedding? The answer may surprise you. Here at Fantasy Farm our record for “shortest notice wedding” ever is just 3 days. You read that right! We put together a 150 person wedding in just 3 short days for one poor bride who unfortunately lost her original venue to a fire just before her wedding! Obviously this is an extreme example, but it just goes to show what is possible.
A good rule of thumb for planning the length of your engagement is to start by asking: “how far in advance should we send out our invitations?” A cursory google search will reveal anything from six months to a year for a “Save The Date” card, and six to eight weeks for a formal invitation. We personally feel that a year for a save the date card is too far in the future as most people are unable to commit that far in advance anyway. Indeed, the save the date card isn’t asking for an RSVP, it’s simply letting people know about your planned wedding date and not really asking for a commitment yet from your guests. If you your engagement is very far in the future a save the date card can be useful. If your wedding date is under 6 months away, we feel that you can safely forget about the save the date card and skip right to formal invitations that ask for RSVP’s and meal selections. Here at Fantasy Farm we like to see formal invitations go out anywhere from three to five MONTHS before your wedding day. Notice that this is much earlier that the “normal” industry standard of six to eight WEEKS before your wedding day. Hear us out on this…our reasoning is sound! Here at Fantasy Farm we’re all about finding ways to reduce the stress on couples as their wedding day approaches, and one of the biggest sources of stress for many couples and families can be the seating arrangements in their reception hall! There’s always some amount of interpersonal or family politics that go into choosing who sits where. This can be stressful for couples. Imagine having to fit together what is essentially a living jigsaw puzzle just 4 weeks before your wedding! Savvy couples send out their invitations a little earlier and leave themselves a little extra time to work out the seating together.
Notice that all of this means that, even with couples sending out formal invitations a little earlier as Fantasy Farm recommends, you can still put together a fairly large wedding on a timetable counted in MONTHS rather than YEARS! Smart couples all over the country are starting to warm up to the idea of a shorter engagement and the advantages it offers. Here at Fantasy Farm we are still booking couples for weddings the late spring and early summer! So while only you can answer the question, “how long should my engagement be?” you may want to consider the advantages (and savings) of a shorter engagement. Like many couples, you may want to cut down on the years of wedding planning many couples endure, and just get on with actually being married!
